Community guidelines

What this community is for

Everyone here has lost someone. That is the only thing you can assume about another member, and it is enough. The community exists so that nobody has to walk this alone — not so that anyone has to perform recovery, explain themselves, or be fixed.

Be honest, and be kind

Say what is true for you. Do not tell someone how they should feel, how long it should take, or what their person would have wanted. Do not compare losses. Listen more than you advise. If you are not sure whether to say something, ask yourself whether you would want it said to you in your worst week.

What is shared here stays here

Another member's story, message, or cohort conversation is theirs. Do not screenshot it, repeat it, or share it outside the platform without their clear permission. This applies even when the story is public on the platform — public here is not permission to republish elsewhere.

You are not each other's clinicians

Share what helped you; do not prescribe. Do not give medical, psychiatric, legal, or financial advice, recommend or discourage medication, or diagnose anyone. If you are worried about someone, tell them you are worried and point them to help. If you think they may be in immediate danger, call 911 or 988 — do not rely on a message here being seen in time.

Respect the word no

Every member chooses who may message them, and the default is that only people in your cohort can start a conversation. If someone does not reply, or asks you to stop, stop. Blocking someone is always allowed and needs no explanation.

Nothing is for sale here

Do not sell, promote, recruit, fundraise, or solicit — for a business, a book, a church, a charity, a cause, or anything else. Do not ask other members for money or lend them any. If you run something you think would genuinely help, tell the team and let us decide whether to list it on the Resources page.

Things that get an account removed

Most problems are resolved with a conversation. These are not:

• Harassment, threats, or contempt toward another member, including about their faith, identity, or the way they grieve.
• Sharing another member's writing or details outside the platform without permission.
• Sexual content, or romantic or sexual advances toward members.
• Impersonating another person, or creating an account to evade a block.
• Encouraging self-harm, or using the community to harm someone.
• Repeated selling, recruiting, or soliciting after being asked to stop.

Reporting, and what happens next

Every message and story has a report option. When you report, you can add a short note of context; the staff member who reads it sees that note and the message you reported, and their viewing is recorded. Reports are reviewed by a person. We will tell you the outcome where we can, and we will never tell the reported member who reported them.

Reports are not monitored in real time. If someone may be in danger right now, call the numbers above.

Staff

Staff and facilitators hold themselves to these guidelines and to a higher standard. A facilitator may close a thread, mute a member in a cohort space, or refer a matter to the team. Every such action is recorded and can be reviewed.